It's been a while, New Years Resolution

Here is the deal, I, like many people, made a New Year’s resolution. This year I am determined to keep mine. This year my resolution was to be me. As some might, so eloquently, put it – to do me. I am determined to be the person that I want to be, to do the things that will make me happy. I am tired of being who people think I am, and pretending I don’t have feelings I have just to appease others. I am talking about being authentically myself in all aspects of my life. Some people might just be rolling their eyes, like damn girl I learned that when I was 16. To those I say, well la te freaking da and congratulations. I didn’t. I am 28 (dear god), and I learned this lesson a week before I turned 28. Not on New Year’s Eve, but you know. Whatever. I want to be myself. I am myself with some people. Thankfully, otherwise this might be hard because I would be like whoa who am I. Also that would be an interesting conversation. Hey Tron. Um I’m gonna be me now. Not so much and no thanks. Thankfully I have always been myself with him, so his life won’t change. Ha. But the rest of you…..be prepared haha. For some, you may not even notice the difference because I haven’t put up a façade at all (looking at you family and super close friends), for others you may have already noticed the change. And others still might think I have turned into an entirely different person. But I haven’t I just tore off the armor that I used to protect myself when around you. Because if I wasn’t myself it means I felt I couldn’t be and that’s your problem now not mine. Some people might be offended that I didn’t feel I could be myself completely. Don’t be. It is scary to be entirely vulnerable to the world. And you may have been one person with whom I was authentic; I just reserved the right to protect myself so I didn’t bare everything. Please don’t take it as a slight if you are not one of those people. It isn't a comment on you. It is a comment on my own insecurity. Insecurity I am determined to finally shed at 28. So don’t be sad, be happy. Be happy that we will now have a deeper and more important relationship and understanding of one another. And if you have left some part of yourself secret with me, I understand. If you want to open up completely, awesome. If you don’t it’s cool. So, I say all this because one other thing I have decided to do with this blog is document my other challenge to myself. Which just happened earlier today. I intend to challenge myself every month to something, whether to give something up or add something to my life. Only for 30 days, to see if I even can. Sometimes I will falter and that’s awesome because it means I am trying. I am not challenging myself to blog it daily, or weekly, or even monthly. But to just document it, my feelings and how it’s going.